McPunctuation and other travesties
There are plenty of ways you can help your readers understand your intent.
Maybe it’s because I’m a former newspaper writer, but I often see examples of the written word and wince. There are so many people I see who make writing mistakes that I wish they wouldn’t.
So, I thought I’d write this post for those readers who are willing to accept they still have a thing to learn about writing (that includes me!).
The first rule I always apply is: your writing should get your point across immediately, without the reader needing to double-back and read anything again. Don’t try your reader’s patience — they’ll just stop reading. And that’s the last thing we want to have happen.
The second rule I adhere to is: use the power of one; by that I mean, one (and only one) idea per sentence, one idea per paragraph, one idea per communication output, and so forth. If you try to squeeze more than one idea into a sentence (or paragraph, etc) you’ll just end up confusing your reader (and probably yourself).
The third rule I love to quote is: don’t let the grammar police push you around. If your writing adheres to rules 1 and 2 above — and you adopt the tips I’ve included below — then you’ve earned the right to ignore archaic grammar rules. Go boldly forth.
With the three rules above done, let’s take a look at the common writing mistakes I see and what you can do to make sure these don’t make their way into your writing.
McPunctuation: This is the word I’ve coined to describe the lamentable practice many writers fall into of adding an apostrophe to plurals. Here’s an example: Apple’s. Here’s another: Computer’s. I think I know where this issue stems from: a misunderstanding of the use of apostrophes. People see the word ‘McDonald’s’ and assume that’s the way to write plurals. What they don’t know is that the apostrophe in the word ‘McDonald’s’ is actually a signifier that the word that comes after ‘McDonald’s’ belongs to McDonald. What is the word that comes after ‘McDonald’s’, you ask? That would be restaurant. Of course, over time the word ‘restaurant’ has been dropped, leaving just ‘McDonald’s’ — confusing I dare say millions of people as a result. The rule here is very simple: if it’s a plural, add an ‘s’ without an apostrophe. That’s it. (There are very few exceptions to this rule, the word ‘children’ being one of them.)
A related problem is writers who don’t know the difference between singular and plural, e.g. ‘X and Y are examples of societies’ problems’. Given that we’re only talking about one society, the correct sentence should read: X and Y are examples of society’s problems.
This leads me to another commonly-misused punctuation mark: the comma. Treat the comma as both a breath and a signpost. Don’t throw in commas if you don’t know why you’re adding them. Less commas are better than more commas. Look at my writing — how many commas do you see? Now read aloud this paragraph. Does it help to explain why I’ve put the commas where I have?
A couple more punctuation issues: no one seems to know how to use the semi-colon. The semi-colon (;) is not the same as the colon (:). The semi-colon connects two sentences (two ideas) that are related. Yes, you can separate those two sentences with a full stop; but you can use a semi-colon to show you know how to use one. Meanwhile, the colon is used to introduce a list. For instance: I love three things: dancing, singing and jumping.
The hyphen. The hyphen! Why has it been forsaken? Honestly, I don’t know what it is about this country, but clearly Australia never got introduced to the hyphen — which is a shame because the hyphen is an awesome punctuation mark. The hyphen helps so much with readability (see rule 1 above). If you were to write: ‘man eating crocodile’, I’d be well within my right to ask if you’re talking about a man who eats crocodiles, or a crocodile who eats humans.
On a similar point, I see many writers using an em dash (—) when they mean to use a hyphen. I blame Microsoft Word for this one. It will automatically turn hyphens into em dashes when it shouldn’t. If you’re writing a period of time, use a hyphen (i.e. 2017-2021), not an em dash (2017—2021 or 2017 — 2021).
Next, let’s return briefly to the apostrophe — only this apostrophe breaks all the rules. It’s the word ‘its’. Its (without an apostrophe) is the word you use when you want to let the reader know that the word after this word is possessed by it. Let’s take the example of: the dog loves its food. So many writers would write: the dog loves it’s food. And that would be wrong. Now, I know why they write that. Because they think the apostrophe in the word ‘it’s’ is possessive — just like the apostrophe example I gave above related to McDonald’s. Ah well, welcome to the wonderful language of English! In this context, the word ‘its’ is the possessive. If you were to write ‘it’s’ (with an apostrophe), you’re simply telling the reader to read that word as ‘it is’ and I don’t think you mean: ‘the dog loves it is food.’
Let’s finish with a couple of examples of using misunderstood words. First, the word ‘whose’. Time and again I see writers using ‘who’s’ when they mean ‘whose’. The word ‘whose’ is the possessive — for instance, ‘whose burger is this?’ The word ‘who’s’ in this context would simply mean ‘who is burger is this?’. (Hmm, doesn’t sound so fluent in English, does it?)
Lastly, writers who use ‘must of’ when they should be writing ‘must have’. Again, the reasons for doing so are sound: over time, the words ‘must have’ have been contracted in the spoken language to ‘must’ve’. Sadly, too many people hear the words ‘must’ve’ and think they’re hearing ‘must of’. As a result, they’re writing ‘must of’. Don’t join the legion of writers who do this! Write ‘must have’ instead. (Bonus points if you say ‘must have’ in your spoken communication.)
I’ll just end by saying this: I don’t believe in writing clearly so you’ll sound smart — or because it’s right. The reason you spend time to get your writing up-to-scratch is so you can make a great first impression on your readers. Because, chances are, the one reader who will appreciate you know how to write elegantly and correctly is your next customer.
These are my tips for better writing. What are yours? Share in the comments below or email me at rohankayconsulting@gmail.com.
Image by akiragiulia from Pixabay.